For my Brother Kevin, With Love..

A brother is a friend given by Nature ~ ~Jean Baptiste Legouve

Kevin has always been a major part of my life. When we were kids I would want to go where ever he would go. I would cry when he would go with his friends and beg my Mom to make him take me along. Sometimes he would too! If he wanted some time with just his friends he would promise me another day, and always came through on his word. He would take me to the wading pool, or to a movie - just him and I. I recall he took me to see Charlot's Webb thinking it would be a funny good movie for me. He told me when I was older how horrible he felt when he looked over at the end of the movie and saw me crying. I remember after that movie he took me to McDonald's for dinner, even bought me a milk shake - and we sat in the big plastic train!

When I got older I envied Kevin. He got such great marks in school and even when I struggled I never reached the A's he was getting, or the honor roll. I remember bragging to my friends when he went to university and how he got to choose to either be a Doctor or a Lawyer, what a choice! When he chose Law and was accepted to University in Nova Scotia, I bragged even more but the horrible realization that he was going so far away was hard to handle.

When my 18th birthday came, Kevin was at school and unable to be there. He sent me a letter (back in those days it was all hand written, no computers and no emails). It said how he wished he could be there and wished me a happy 18th. A letter to this day I have kept.

As an adult I have to say I have even more bragging rights when it comes to my brother. Truly a man with a heart of gold. He helped to take care of my Nana when she could no longer take care of herself. He gives selflessly and fully of himself when ever family needs him. He has been there when family's health has been failing and when they need help and comfort. He is there to give a hug, and support when I have felt my lowest. I am a proud sister, he is someone I am not only proud to call brother but someone I call friend. Someone I have always aspired to be like. He is a uncle extraordinaire and my kids think the world of him and love him to pieces.

My brother was diagnosed with colorectal Cancer last week. This was a blow to my very core. I can't imagine God's plans or the reason why this would happen to my Kevin. Such a helpless feeling. His latest tests show it has not spread, which is good and his surgery is July 2nd.

I ask you all to pray for Kevin. Maybe this is a tap on my shoulder to remind me how lucky I am and what a gift he is. A wake up call I won't ignore. I will be standing by him, I will help him to fight this and to get well. I will pray, and I hope you will too.

~K

IF by Rudyard Kipling

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

~~Rudyard Kipling

It's a Karma kind of thing

I am a believer in a kind of Karma. I think if you truly do wrong by someone in this life the curse of that can follow you until you make it right. Now to some they might say that is a subconscious thing. That on some level people sabotage themselves - that is very possible. Either way, no matter which you believe to be true - they have to make amends of some kind in order to break the pattern.

I thought of this after re-watching the best scene of "The Color Purple" Where Celie says:

Celie: [lunging towards Albert with a knife] I curse you. Until you do right by
me everything you think about is gonna crumble!
Celie: Until you do right by
me, everything you even think about gonna fail!

Food for thought anways.

You DON'T Scare me anymore!

slan·der (slndr)
n.
1. Law Oral communication of false statements injurious to a person's reputation.
2. A false and malicious statement or report about someone.
v. slan·dered, slan·der·ing, slan·ders

NOTHING I HAVE SAID IS UN-TRUE

BRING IT ON TOUGH GUY - Court means the dirty little details of abuse get to be told to the world - I WELCOME IT!! Ready to get that honest?

ha·rass (h-rs, hrs)
tr.v. ha·rassed, ha·rass·ing, ha·rass·es
1. To irritate or torment persistently.
2. To wear out; exhaust.
3. To impede and exhaust (an enemy) by repeated attacks or raids

I am no longer a 17 year old girl you can bully around so don't call threatning me again.