The Whole Story? Kinda...

Here are some facts not generally known about me

I don't mind the smell of skunk - reminds me of our summers at the cottage in Matlock, Manitoba when I was a child. It's a normal scent of the evenings.

I love to watch repeats of "The Golden Girls" because it reminds me of three ladies who were a huge impact on my life, and who I miss very much. It makes me feel for that half hour I am with them again. This was also their favourite show.

I love watching repeats of "All in the Family" for the same kind of reason as above. It reminds me of my Dad. Archie Bunker was a lot like my Dad and he loved that show. I miss him too so it makes me feel like I am with him for that short time.

Pretty much all the shows of my youth, Bewitched, Carol Burnett, I dream of Jeanie, Fantasy Island, all remind me of my youth, my family growing up. My home as a child and gives me warm fuzzies. I think its more the feeling I get from the shows than the actual shows themselves is the reason I watch.

The same can be said for my song's of the 80s. Reminds me of a time in my life of fun, carefree and youth. Friends and good times with not much for responsibilities.

I like horror movies because I Like the adrenaline rush I get. I don't like slasher movies because I don't want to be grossed out I just want to be scared. I think I like it because its a safer than jumping out of planes (although I wish I was brave enough to do this) or other feats that give you the adrenaline.

I don't really like peanut butter and Jam together. Once and I while I will do it but normally it isn't my thing.

I hate the smell of perfumes/deodorants/body sprays that are intense - do people really think they smell so bad they have to drench in this stuff?

I can't sand the smell of milk or whiskey.

I love the smell of the ocean, baking cookies and the Crabtree & Evelyn shop in Southcenter. The smell of it to me smells exactly like my Godmother Maria who I loved a lot.

I have to tell my daughter, husband, son, every day when they leave to "have a good day and I love them".

My day can't start without coffee and my day can't end without "I love you".

Deep Breath

Ok So I vented and I feel better. Now it's time to do the usual "Kristen" thing and pick myself up and move forward. Remind myself I am a good person and things will be better and move on.

I wish no ill will on anyone, that isn't how I am. Yes my faith in humanity is shaken yet again but some wonderful soul will drift into my life and reaffirm my belief, that people are really at their core good. Then I will be able to heal, trust and the anger will subside.

Looking Ahead - not Back.

LIARS SUCK

They tell you anything to get what they want, meanwhile everything around you falls apart because of it!

PEOPLE WHO LIE ARE CRIMINALS AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED! They even lie to themselves! WELL THANK YOU SO F*ING Much - you've F*ED UP MY LIFE!

I am so stupid to be so naive and still trust a persons WORD - Clearly that is pointless and meaningless!

FOR THIS PERSON THE MOVIE "LIAR LIAR" SHOULD BE MANDATORY TO WATCH - PERHAPS TAKE NOTES!!!

EVERYTHING WE WORKED FOR - TAKEN by ONE PERSONS LIES!! Why do I EVER trust Anyone?!!

It's all about ME now

I went to the doctor today because my blood pressure has been getting worse and worse. The nurse took it before the doctor came in and when he came in he asked what it was. I said I didn't know she didn't tell me - he said thats not a good sign. I guess not because he didn't tell me either! So I am on a pretty strict diet, no salt, etc and have to increase exercise - also have to go on meds to bring down my blood pressure because he said it's dangerously high. I have to get a bunch of tests done including one to do with sleeping to see if I have a disorder of any kind. Then I have to go back and see him once a month and he will see if things are getting better or not.

FUN FUN FUN! I am sure stress is not helping the situation in the least but I can only work on fixing me and just pray everything else gets fixed soon.

What the F*ing F*ck?

A lot of things have happened since my husband birthday. Life seems to test me lately it seems. I have found myself questioning a lot of things, people, situations, instincts and motives of others. Can it be that someone would set out to cause you discord intentionally? Yes that can and has happened to me in my past but I chalked it up then to being teen-aged jealousy, angst, who knows what. Do you think adults do it too? I like to think not but sometimes I get the feeling I am the butt of an elaborate joke perhaps, or the outlet for someone's cruelty.

My Mom's surgery didn't happen because the hole is too big they think to do the procedure. However her cardiologist team has decided she should see the best we have in Edmonton and he/she is convinced they can fix the problem. This should be happening fairly soon.

Brent is doing great! He has some community service to do (25 hours) and then he is sending his application to the army. Lord help me I am not sure I want that. I just want him to hang back a while until he the war is over. I would rather kidnap him and hide him until its all over.

As for the other strange things in our life, I don't want to elaborate really. I just feel lately that there is a shoe about to drop (probably on my head). Paranoid? Perhaps but I am never wrong when this feeling creeps up on me. The only thing to do is be on the defensive and brace myself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY AND HAPPY GROUNDHOGS DAY!

My Mom has her heart surgery February 10th. I am completely terrified. I just want to snap my fingers and its done and she is fine - why can't it be that easy. She is everything to me, my mom, my best friend. I don't know what I would ever do without her. I find myself lately in a daze - I sleep a lot. I am so afraid and so unable to do anything. I want to tell her not to do it but I know if she doesn't she will die and if anything happens from the surgery I will never forgive myself for not stopping her from doing it. It's a horrible circle.

We were taken out for lunch by My mom and brother on Sunday. It was fun and then we came back here for cake and presents. They gave Larry some really nice smelling spray stuff (which doesn't bother me at all, it smells fresh like soap!) and a pen with the world on it with precious jewels from around the world - its very cool! It was a nice day for sure.

We spent Saturday night at Pam and Andy's and Rhonda and Kelly where there also. It was a fun night to celebrate the guys birthday's.

The drama has been kind of intense around here lately. Erica went through some stuff and I have decided to step away from that and not make any rash decisions on anything until after Mom's surgery. I just can't deal with much more than I am at the moment. I worry that being in the state I am in currently I may say something I could regret later so I am just going to leave it alone. Maybe her Mom or Dad could do something instead. I'm kind of tapped out.

So that is where I am this fine Feb 2/2010. Until next time....

~K

Cya 2009 - Welcome 2010

This year hopes to be a better year than the last one. 2009 stayed true to it's character right from beginning to end, and I for one, am pleased to give it a kick in the caboose as it goes.

So much to do it seems

Brent wants to go into the reserves. The reserves (for those who don't know) do not go overseas to war. They are asked if they wish to (many do) but it is NOT a requirement. The reserves do what their name suggests. They are here in Canada helping us out as needed. For example when a horrible snow storm hits, they are the ones who come help. Or when the floods happen in Manitoba, they are the ones who come and sandbag. Fires, plane crashes, rescue operations, etc. That plus they train them for a career and also pay them. I am already proud of Brent for all he has accomplished and the person he has become, the fact he is so interested in this makes me almost burst with pride. Here is a website about the reservists - from the horses mouth so to speak.

http://www.forces.ca/html/reserveforce_en.aspx

Larry and Brent keep missing the open house's at the barracks. Only once by their own fault (sleeping in) every other time there hasn't been one (Holidays). So the guard told them to go to the office downtown instead, which is what they will do this week.

Jessica still loves her singing which is great! She is a lovely sweet kind girl (EVERYONE who KNOWS her knows this to be true). She would NEVER hurt a fly. She is beautiful, witty and smart. I am very proud of her also. She is enjoying grade 7 and starting to become a real teen. Wanting to do her hair in the mornings and put on a little make up. I am of course overseeing the makeup use as I don't' want her caking it on looking like a little tramp. I find that so cheap on girls that are very young especially.

This year I have decided to get in shape. I think I said that last year too? I am going to do my best thats for sure! I want to spend the rest of my years in good shape and doing more things! Hopefully I stick with it this year.

We are looking into buying a bowflex. There are some really good deals on kijiji so we might get one.

Trying to organize my house has been quite a undertaking! I have all that plus put away Christmas still - yipes! lol I'll get it done eventually!